jaclyn wants answers..
do you have it?
i put on weight when i'm depressed.
i lose weight when i'm stressed.
but as of now, being depressed from being stressed, i guess stress rules. four kilograms says it all. i think i shall be greedy and try for 50. at least i know i'll get joy from being able to fit into those size 26 miss sixty jeans once again.
i wanna know, was there this unwritten law that should be accepted by all, that one should immediately go look for a job after graduation? that there is a limit to when one should slack off and play? all that, a natural progression of life? who decides what's natural? the majority? so then, i must follow the laws of majority. by failing to abide these rules, am i outed?
i hate looking for a job under these conditions. it's making me not want to look for one. i've already gave up being happy. can't i just keep something, something that's within my control?
i wasn't brought up to be ungrateful. i am totally grateful for everything that's been done for me. but there are just some things i don't want to have to get used to. because i don't know where the boundaries for concern and intrusiveness begin and end. people who only know my first and last name asking about me through other people who for one, knows naught about me, two, aren't even asking me directly. i tire. really i do. i wanna go live on my little island. become a hermit. where required skills are how to find water, build a hut, find edible non-poisonous food and kill animals and cook them over a fire, which i built. i like hermit life. i like lack of advancements. they bring back the simple joys. at least that's what the grass looks like on the other side.
don't ask me to go home if i can't take it. pride disallows me to do so. but technically i could be wasting more money this way. i wanna say i can throw it all into my work, but i need work to begin with. i wanna say i can throw it all into loving someone, but i need someone to begin with. and my grand plan. will my grand plan work out? someone else said, "huh? like that where got time for boyfriend?", i laughed. i wonder where that boyfriend was. i guess the other grand plan of having kids at 25 just got sucked down the drains and washed straight into the sewers.
i know i will need a job desperately because i wanna go flying my little way to south korea with my big sis this year by hook or by crook.
if nobody loves you, will you still love yourself?
most likely, i do, which explains why i'm still here.
i put on weight when i'm depressed.
i lose weight when i'm stressed.
but as of now, being depressed from being stressed, i guess stress rules. four kilograms says it all. i think i shall be greedy and try for 50. at least i know i'll get joy from being able to fit into those size 26 miss sixty jeans once again.
i wanna know, was there this unwritten law that should be accepted by all, that one should immediately go look for a job after graduation? that there is a limit to when one should slack off and play? all that, a natural progression of life? who decides what's natural? the majority? so then, i must follow the laws of majority. by failing to abide these rules, am i outed?
i hate looking for a job under these conditions. it's making me not want to look for one. i've already gave up being happy. can't i just keep something, something that's within my control?
i wasn't brought up to be ungrateful. i am totally grateful for everything that's been done for me. but there are just some things i don't want to have to get used to. because i don't know where the boundaries for concern and intrusiveness begin and end. people who only know my first and last name asking about me through other people who for one, knows naught about me, two, aren't even asking me directly. i tire. really i do. i wanna go live on my little island. become a hermit. where required skills are how to find water, build a hut, find edible non-poisonous food and kill animals and cook them over a fire, which i built. i like hermit life. i like lack of advancements. they bring back the simple joys. at least that's what the grass looks like on the other side.
don't ask me to go home if i can't take it. pride disallows me to do so. but technically i could be wasting more money this way. i wanna say i can throw it all into my work, but i need work to begin with. i wanna say i can throw it all into loving someone, but i need someone to begin with. and my grand plan. will my grand plan work out? someone else said, "huh? like that where got time for boyfriend?", i laughed. i wonder where that boyfriend was. i guess the other grand plan of having kids at 25 just got sucked down the drains and washed straight into the sewers.
i know i will need a job desperately because i wanna go flying my little way to south korea with my big sis this year by hook or by crook.
if nobody loves you, will you still love yourself?
most likely, i do, which explains why i'm still here.
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