swamped

I'm supposed to be swamped with work. 4 major essays due in the coming 2 weeks. Strangely, I don't seem to feel the feeling of being swamped yet but yeah, it'll hit soon I bet. I'm gonna wake up and realise, the books I borrowed aren't read, the references I need aren't in the books I borrowed, the books needed for the referencing are all borrowed out of the library. Then I'd be in shit. This semester is ending pretty damn soon I must say. Exams in end October. Wonders if I can reach my distinction goals. Honors are out of the window. Issues to be addressed and settled. Living on your own isn't all that cracked up like it's supposed to be but it's not a walk in the park either. Money. Why can't they grow on trees? I'll have many money trees planted in a split second. Or at least let me win the lotto. Oh wait, that would mean I would have to know how to play it and buy the ticket. 2/4/20 million cash prize. I don't think I ever had those kind of luck. I never win at anything. So why would it start now right. Weird dreams are plaguing me, actually not really, I do quite enjoy them, but due to its graphic and violent nature and according to the law of being a normal person, I should not be enjoying the thought of it. Ooh, but how it thrills me. The memory of it running through me titillates me. I think if I had just one slight flaw in my genetic makeup, I would be hellava murderer. I think I would be good at it too. Death isn't all that bad, killing might be in normalville, but think of it as population control. Don't categorise me as one of those who are heartless and feel nothing for the deaths caused by terrorists or disasters. I do. But it is kinda like population control, don't you think? I should have started on my research two hours ago, but I'm not. I am procrastinating however, which I will suffer eventually. Don't know why I even put myself through this. Studies. Work. Each taking up at least 20 years of our lives. I rather work. It gives me greater gratification in this case money. Materialistic, yes that's me. Read a chapter by a particular political scientist and his take on what we all truly need, 'acceptance'. Nowadays we believe acceptance to come in the form of consumer goods, which is obviously very very wrong he says. But what else is there? No money, nothing. Interaction with people, with the community. To be in the community you need to live there, to live there you need a house there, to have a house there you need money to buy the house. Who's gonna interact with a homeless person with open arms and heart and invite you over for dinner and some activities. Not me. Hell no. Who knows the homeless person would just take me at knifepoint and kill me to stay in my house and eat my food. Random thoughts of what a swamped person would say. end.