as i emoed...
having finished watching coffee prince on youtube, i began emoing. like yeah, it totally doesn't make any sense seeing how it was a pretty lighthearted and happy show to begin with.
it brought me back to when i had the 'is it really impossible to get a 3/3 rating guy?' convo. argh, maybe i began liking korean dramas because it brings me hope, though it seems more like false hope whenever i delve deeper into my thoughts. and with reiterations that it is simply impossible makes me disillusioned. how. confusing.
then there is the whole job satisfaction and happiness thingy. i don't really wanna go into it. but it really seems so bleak. there is this growing worry in me. it feels like i'm simply waiting and wondering when is that time gonna come, my life so far has been pretty smooth for me. my plans have worked out so far, i pass whenever i have to, i graduate when i'm supposed to, i move when i planned to, so when's the time when i truly fall or fail. is it gonna be this? my next hurdle in life right now? but many would say you wouldn't know till you've tried, but i don't want to fail. wait, scratch that. it's not that i don't want to fail, but i don't want to fail so badly that i really have no confidence anymore. or is it simply, i am lacking any confidence now. this fearfulness, i feel, is causing my procrastination. it would be nice to know what lies ahead of me right now, i feel as though i'm sinking into my quicksand of thoughts.
i still feel like i'm flying solo while everyone has moved along together.
i'm losing sight of everyone and it sucks.
it brought me back to when i had the 'is it really impossible to get a 3/3 rating guy?' convo. argh, maybe i began liking korean dramas because it brings me hope, though it seems more like false hope whenever i delve deeper into my thoughts. and with reiterations that it is simply impossible makes me disillusioned. how. confusing.
then there is the whole job satisfaction and happiness thingy. i don't really wanna go into it. but it really seems so bleak. there is this growing worry in me. it feels like i'm simply waiting and wondering when is that time gonna come, my life so far has been pretty smooth for me. my plans have worked out so far, i pass whenever i have to, i graduate when i'm supposed to, i move when i planned to, so when's the time when i truly fall or fail. is it gonna be this? my next hurdle in life right now? but many would say you wouldn't know till you've tried, but i don't want to fail. wait, scratch that. it's not that i don't want to fail, but i don't want to fail so badly that i really have no confidence anymore. or is it simply, i am lacking any confidence now. this fearfulness, i feel, is causing my procrastination. it would be nice to know what lies ahead of me right now, i feel as though i'm sinking into my quicksand of thoughts.
i still feel like i'm flying solo while everyone has moved along together.
i'm losing sight of everyone and it sucks.
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