let's not be vague now, shall we?

over that issue/event, i have my final words. after that, i have nothing more to say, unless you want to iron out sub-issues and clear the air with me.

the people whom i will mention later are, hz, adelene, hongyun, rod, and vinod. don't worry, it's nothing bad. i swear. no bitchiness or whatsoever. i chose this way of putting it across because, at least you all know what i have said, to each individuals.

however, this entry will only continue after my trip down to 4 rochester park and to conrad international, which probably translates it to tonight.

but a quick word to adelene, i respect your stand on your decision. i won't deny, it was not a response i would have liked from you, but i do accept it. at the moment, you to me, are one of the nicer girls i have known in hz's life, even though i can't say i know you that well at all. when the next time we meet i would greet you as i always have. it is not a hint of hypocrisy from me. i took what you had to say and that's it. since you have said what's to be, it is up to me now whether i can take it or not, if i can't, then simply put, it's my tai ji already and not yours.

yes, the rest of you will hear more from me later.

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hongyun,
i know it was not nice of me to leave such a comment, but the fact that the issue at hand was not nice to begin with, would never have been able to nice for her to hear. one thing which you said, which i did not think of in the beginning was giving that face to your bro. sincerely, i do regret not having thought of that. but having said and done everything, i can't take it back, but thank you for providing me with that insight.

rod,
you said, i'm only harsh and forward to the people i'm close to, yes that is true. the words which i have left, were not harsh and forward, they were to put plainly, and truthful. just simply because, this was something unexpected of me does not mean that it is something i would never do. i do things and make my decisions based on the limited information i have. yes, i don't know what they have been trying to compromise in their relationship, simply because i have been unable to ask.

vinod,
i have said all i have to say about this whole issue to you in the past two days. i have really nothing more to say. i know your fears, and i sincerely do not think that will happen. however should i be wrong, and blame has to be taken, feel free to place them on me. because i would not deny i am the cause or like you say the catalyst of the situation.

hongzhen & adelene,
firstly to hongzhen, i am really sorry to you that i had to like many have said, create this kind of trouble for you. like we all know, i am a trouble maker. i just felt that i couldn't really take it anymore and that it had to stop. i chose this route of making things known, because it felt to me that we weren't really gonna address it, and that it would be pointless for me to even try. maybe i was wrong.

and to adelene, seriously, it wasn't personal. i don't dislike or hate you. and when i said there were things i couldn't say in your presence, it is true. i can't and don't know how your relationship is like, because i can't ask hongzhen. it is weird and awkward to ask such a question in your presence, for your sake. i could be blunt and rude and do that in your presence, but i rather not. i know there were stuff which i mentioned which were rather vague and caused you to think the worst, but trust me, they aren't.

lastly,
i have said my piece and this is it. throw whatever you want at me, so be it. hate me, so be it. if you don't ever want to address it, so be it. you want it hidden into the depths of abyss, so be it.

all the actions and words i have seen and heard lately, have proven my guesses right. i have said it, and now it has come to that point. the few who truly know regarding the matter which i said "i will fuck it all", and you know what, this is what i will do now. don't call, don't message, but should you do, don't expect a reply. maybe this thought and feeling will come to a pass, maybe it wouldn't. i guess we will soon see.